Saturday, April 14, 2012

Perspective

"Marriage is a relationship where one is always right and the other is the husband!"
"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open." - Groucho Marx
"The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." - S. T. Coleridge
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
"Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man."
"Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage."
"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
"Q. Why do men die before their wives? A. They want to."

Excuse me, but what is all this junk?? I cannot sit here and boast of being a perfect wife or of a storybook perfect marriage, but I will always believe the bonds of marriage to be sacred and a privilege. There is something completely disturbing about the world today (or who knows, maybe these kinds of jokes have been made since forever) when these kinds of statements are considered funny.

Stand-up comedians use jokes like these to make people laugh. Some things can be related to - everybody has fights now and again - but I feel deeply offended that as a wife, my husband is expected to give me all of his money for everything that I want, that I can command anything of him because "or else!" I hate that marriage is conveyed as something so horrible and regretful for a human being. 

Yes, freedom is not as readily available. But obviously if I was still wanting to leave the house at all hours or date loads of people or leave town on a whim I would not have been ready to get married. And people who still have these tendencies should either let them go or NOT GET MARRIED YET. 

Yes, fights happen. But do I feel that my life is ruined because I married somebody who doesn't have an exact replica of my personality? Absolutely not. So many people fight and get fed up and get divorced. It might sound like a negative perspective, but I am pretty sure that ev-er-y-body fights. So those second, third, fourth . . . marriages are going to have fights also. Get over it and make it work. I believe that there are few things that constitute the end, so sit your butts down and talk it out.

I am a wife. I am a supporter. I am a food-cooker. My job (yes, MY job) is to keep the house clean. I am not a jail keeper. My husband's hands and feet are not bound. I am no "ball and chain." I might have my faults, but I don't want to be conveyed as such a burden. 

Think twice before you make some stupid comment about how "horrible" marriage is. It isn't. A husband, wife, or marriage should not be spoken about so rudely. Everybody deserves respect, especially your spouse and the union that you made with him/her for forever. Cherish it.

3 comments:

Paige said...

I'm sharing this. I just tweeted it :)

Mom said...

Wow what great insights from one so young and relatively newly married! Thanks Shell--that was an awesome post.

Candra said...

Gah- this stuff drives me crazy too. One point I have though, is that women these days feel like they need to be in control of the house. We see it all over sitcoms and movies, and everything. Woman have adapted this "do what I say, or else" mentality. That's not what marriage is intended to be. God gave husbands and wives different roles. But because so many women try to take on the husband's role of leading the house hold- then men aren't able to feel significant, or manly, or HAPPY. So of course marriage is going to be miserable to them. And i'm not saying that it's all the wives fault, just pointing out a very real thing that is happening.